Horse Humor Fan Pillows

"You can lead me to water but you can't make me drink, unless it has added food coloring and sweeteners."

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

The americanisation of vulture.

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

'Oh Hi!'

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

"Author does not do tricks."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

'Ha ha! No kidding! You're pretty much most people's worst enemy.'

"Don't listen to her! She's a cuckoo: what would she know about parenting?!"

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

"This isn't helping my migraine."

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

Cat leaves obedience school smiling because he got an 'F' on his report card.

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

Why giraffes hate winter

"I rented out the basement."

Balloon dog training