Animal Caretaking Humorist Gifts

Strictly Ornamental.

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

The Rooster Comedian.

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Scuba cow"

Hats and Food

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Jurassic Pork.'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

No jay walking.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

'Bird Watching is fun, but it tends to make me salivate...'

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

'Cat job interviews.'

"I don't think we can keep our love a secret for much longer dear"

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'