Pet Care Comedian Pillows

'What makes you think he's got worms?'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

Conversation between Dogs.

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

"Want to see me make him beg, roll over and shake?"

"You've had dogs, cats, birds and even a pony. . . how come your only pets that survive are fish, Arielle?"

Cat Blog.

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

'Why do they refuse to drink water out of a bowl that's been left out for two hours, but go gaga over toilet water?'

"I wasn't dead yet."

"For crying out loud! It’s empty!!"

'Nonsense, Melvin! Who ever heard of a tapeworm that big?'

101 uses of a dead cat: bagpipe

Hang Time Fido

"I'm retired now"

'Can't read this one either. Think anyone would mind if I just rolled around in them?'

"Darling, this dog food is delicious!"

'Here's a stupid question...are you getting enough sleep?'

Strictly Ornamental.

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

'I said - MOVE IT!'

'Like I was saying, Angus, I'm the master, you're the dog.'

Why hamsters don't sleep at night.

'Now you do know she needs a bath every week and an oil change every 3000 miles?'

'Scalpel, dammit! Scalpel!'

Now Wash Your Paws

'If he has worms can we take him fishing?'

Dog buries bone in cat litter

'They fight like you know what.'

Solving the dropping cake problem.

Extended Stay.