Pet Care Humorist Pillows

'Scalpel, dammit! Scalpel!'

"Sorry we were too late. We found this lodged in the cat's throat."

'Now you do know she needs a bath every week and an oil change every 3000 miles?'

"Yes, that's water retention."

Mrs Claus giving Rudolph a wash

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Dogs life

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

Cats at private view

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Satisfaction, stat!"

Conversation between Dogs.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

Clown walks balloon dog

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'