Pet Humorist Pillows

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."

"He's a bird-dog."

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

"Oh no! The dog's eaten the Thesaurus"

Doctor on call - "Oh and while you're here can you take a look at the cat?"

"Sometimes I get a craving for sushi."

'I don't know where he's getting it from, but it happens every time I ask him to fetch my slippers.'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

"Hang on a minute...That's not regular fish food...That's ECZEMA!"

'Out, damned Spot.'

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

Cat Food Not Tested On Animals

"I started out fetching."

Behavior Modification.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

Cat News.

'Cat food' is mice

'Do you have any identification other than the collar?'

'Innocent' cat eating mouse.

'She taught me that copping an attitude will get you everything.'

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'All dogs have four legs. All tables have four legs. All dogs are tables."

Maude had warned the Cat not to lick itself so much.

A clown walks into his living room and sees a balloon animal scratching up the furniture

'It's for the neighborhood dogs.'

'Hey Bud, we're out of those biscuits with carbon in them...'

"If it would help I could eat the store-brand dog food."

Cat Sisyphus

'I think the temperature's a bit low in the Terrarium!'

"I'm no show dog - I have Alopecia!"

"Honey, the dog is in the back yard doing naked yoga again."

Why, Lucy! You look so fetching!

'They're all for you.'

"Me admit was awesome idea but maybe saber tooth tiger just not cut out for domestication."