Vet Care Comedian Pillows

'We appreciate you loyalty to your clientele, Doctor,...

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

Committee On Feline Healthcare

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

'Sure you can have another opinion but I still say you are a fat pig.'

Of course you're feeling disgruntled. You've lost your voice.

"Want to see me make him beg, roll over and shake?"

"You've had dogs, cats, birds and even a pony. . . how come your only pets that survive are fish, Arielle?"

"Medical insurance? Are you kidding? No one will cover me for nine lives!"

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

Casey's Veterinarian Clinic and Taxidermy 'Either way you'll get your pet back.'

'Why do they refuse to drink water out of a bowl that's been left out for two hours, but go gaga over toilet water?'

'Nonsense, Melvin! Who ever heard of a tapeworm that big?'

101 uses of a dead cat: bagpipe

'...windpuffs in front and a capped hock on the right rear...'

'Don't worry, it's just the anaesthetic...'

Hang Time Fido

'But hey, who am I to complain?'

'Can't read this one either. Think anyone would mind if I just rolled around in them?'

'This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you!'

'Like I was saying, Angus, I'm the master, you're the dog.'

"Yep, that's water retention."

'I said - MOVE IT!'

'Here's a stupid question...are you getting enough sleep?'

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

"Darling, this dog food is delicious!"

'No, I'm sorry. I'm Doctor Ford and I do the large animal work....'

Why hamsters don't sleep at night.

'How the heck does one do CPR on a tortoise?'

Strictly Ornamental.