Kitchen Punsters Pillows

The Spoonish Inquisition

"That's it. We’re toast."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Tequila Mockingbird

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

Wordplay: Rabbit Punch.

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

"It's made with real angel hair."

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"The pompano poached in parchment is very alliterative tonight."

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

"Hallelujah!"

A dog reads a newspaper

Hamlet.

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

Stock Cube Crossing

'Here's one I nicked earlier.'

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

"Please yourself, I'll add salt if you like but I'm only dyeing a pair of socks..."

'Yech, there's a worm on my plate!' - 'That's a sausage, you fool.'