Kitchen Punsters Gifts

The Spoonish Inquisition

"That's it. We’re toast."

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

Tequila Mockingbird

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

Wordplay: Rabbit Punch.

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

You heard right - one large cheese pizza, and tell the driver to take it out of the box and leave it in the yard,

Deviled HamDeviled Eggs.

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

"The pompano poached in parchment is very alliterative tonight."

Chicken Funeral Planning.

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

"Hallelujah!"

"It's made with real angel hair."

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

A dog reads a newspaper

Hamlet.

'Don't worry, I would never tell the other free range chickens you're agoraphobic.'

'Here's one I nicked earlier.'

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

Stock Cube Crossing

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

Woman finding jack-in-a-box in her saucepan.

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

'Firstly whip your eggs....and everything else.'