Cooking Pranksters Gifts

"I sympathize. It's weird for me too."

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

Wait – is that your dad? Tunnel of Love.

ABC Diapers. Comfy Tushy Diapers. Now 3 times more absorbent! Note to self: Drink 4 times more juice.

Tartar sauce.

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

"Not that it's right, but I understand. I was young once and used to sneak out to do crop circle, too."

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

"More helium."

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

"I think we both know who did it...."

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

Back to the Holidays

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."

'Thank you for the turkey, thank you for the dressing, and thank you for the squash, which Mother cleverly refers to as pumpkin pie.'

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

Monkey dropping apples on Newton's head.

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

A clown is walking a balloon dog. He is pretending it is weeing on a fire hydrant.

Doughnut Criminals

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

Revenge Of The Tipped Cows

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'