Cooking Pranksters Pillows

"I sympathize. It's weird for me too."

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

"Not that it's right, but I understand. I was young once and used to sneak out to do crop circle, too."

Tartar sauce.

"More helium."

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

'Thank you for the turkey, thank you for the dressing, and thank you for the squash, which Mother cleverly refers to as pumpkin pie.'

Doughnut Criminals

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

Monkey dropping apples on Newton's head.

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

A clown is walking a balloon dog. He is pretending it is weeing on a fire hydrant.

Back to the Holidays

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'