Culinary Prankster Pillows

Slug Revenge

'Mother, is this some kind of sick joke?'

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

"Don't be alarmed, Lois, but there appears to be a pop-up thermometer protruding from your right buttock."

"You're just pushing my buttons about all-microwave cooking ... aren't you?"

'Nice Touch!'

Winter lunch.

'Thank you for the turkey, thank you for the dressing, and thank you for the squash, which Mother cleverly refers to as pumpkin pie.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"I just need help getting the pit out."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

"More helium."

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

Doughnut Criminals

"It's good to see that... ...Tia Carmen teaching Gracie valuable family traditions passed down through the generations."

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

'Here's one I nicked earlier.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'

Mock Apple Pie Recipe

Stock Cube Crossing

Fishing for Supper

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'Okay, this is the scene where the bear becomes a parachute.'

'It's actually cheaper than the bait shop.'