Food Prankster Pillows

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

It's not a fortune - it's a list of food code violations at the Chinese restaurant next door.

'You idiot! This isn't what I told you to buy!'

"Why is this egg roll pink with purple and yellow stripes?"

Fitz wasn't sure if this was a legitimate rescue or just more culinary trickery.

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

"More helium."

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

Doughnut Criminals

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

'Thank you for the turkey, thank you for the dressing, and thank you for the squash, which Mother cleverly refers to as pumpkin pie.'

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

Mock Apple Pie Recipe

'Here's one I nicked earlier.'

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

Stock Cube Crossing

'Yech, there's a worm on my plate!' - 'That's a sausage, you fool.'

"Please yourself, I'll add salt if you like but I'm only dyeing a pair of socks..."

'Break's over, 'No-Lips!' I got a rush order for one chicken-fried steak!'

'Nice Touch!'

'Chef's salad as ordered.'

Pizza Exam: 'Just deliver it around the back of 'B' block. The money will be by the window. . .'

"I've made my new spaghetti dish."

Tiny restaurant portion. Man finds magnifying glass amongst cutlery.