Gourmet Prankster Pillows

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Tonight, the part of the sea bass will be played by the chicken."

'Chef's salad as ordered.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

Tonite: Gala Costume Party. Got your costume for the big party? No, I'll just part my hair on the other side and go as my own reflection.

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

Supermarket Warehouse. At night, with just security here, the products sing classic karaoke. The orange juice is belting Elvis'"All Shook Up." Peanut butter and jelly performed a duet of "Love Will Keep Us Together." children's breakfast cereal sang "Sugar, Sugar." And sriracha sauce did a rendition of "Great Balls of Fire"! What song will the ground beef choose? Jimmy Buffett's "Cheeseburger in Paradise," of course!

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

"More helium."

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

Doughnut Criminals

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

'Thank you for the turkey, thank you for the dressing, and thank you for the squash, which Mother cleverly refers to as pumpkin pie.'

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

Haute Cuisine Meets Low Couture

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

Stock Cube Crossing

'No, I don't have a favorite. Dung is dung.'

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

The mushroom pickers

Mock Apple Pie Recipe

'I told you rosemary and sage, but don't add the garlic until the last half hour.'

'Here's one I nicked earlier.'

'Okay, this is the scene where the bear becomes a parachute.'

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'