Kitchen Prankster Pillows

"I'll have the Catch of the Day."

'Well of course they're feathers, it's chicken soup!'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Chef's Confession

'How's my chicken kiev?'

Menu: Don't Eat the Stew

Devil in the Oven

"Please yourself, I'll add salt if you like but I'm only dyeing a pair of socks..."

Stock Cube Crossing

Onion Executions

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'Firstly whip your eggs....and everything else.'

Woman finding jack-in-a-box in her saucepan.

don't look at me! I told him to stay away from the garbage disposal!

'It tasted nice until you told me she cooked it!'

'Yech, there's a worm on my plate!' - 'That's a sausage, you fool.'

'Break's over, 'No-Lips!' I got a rush order for one chicken-fried steak!'

"Dropping a spoon means a beautiful woman will visit soon."

'Here's one I nicked earlier.'

Peanut Butter and Jam Attack,

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"No! I am your father!" "Noooooo!"

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

Onion operation.

Kid about scratched up car to dad: 'I made a mistake washing the car with a brillo pad.'

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

"More helium."

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"