Kitchen Gadget Prankster Pillows

Fishing for Supper

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Why are you waving that big magnet over my hard drive?

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

Tonite: Gala Costume Party. Got your costume for the big party? No, I'll just part my hair on the other side and go as my own reflection.

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

'I accidentally hacked into Mom's microwave oven.'

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

'Thank you for the turkey, thank you for the dressing, and thank you for the squash, which Mother cleverly refers to as pumpkin pie.'

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

"Namaste."

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

Extremely Realistic Virtual Reality.

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

'... and when the user's blood pressure goes over 100, the computer shuts down, the siren sounds, and the neon sign beings to flash!'

The Hard Drive Ate My Homework.

"My dad said I couldn't scare him, so I'm hiding all his data like it was erased. Get ready for a loud scream."

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

'Which one do you think Dracula's in?'

Stock Cube Crossing

'Here's one I nicked earlier.'

'Okay! Who changed my screensaver?'

'Okay, this is the scene where the bear becomes a parachute.'

'Sir, you need special help to fix this problem. Please hold the line whilst I put you through to our exorcist.'

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

'On the internet, nobody knows you're a monkey.'