Cooking Prankster Pillows

Escaping Egg

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

"More helium."

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

'Thank you for the turkey, thank you for the dressing, and thank you for the squash, which Mother cleverly refers to as pumpkin pie.'

Doughnut Criminals

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

Hole in forty-seven.

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

Mock Apple Pie Recipe

Fishing for Supper

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

'Here's one I nicked earlier.'

Stock Cube Crossing

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

'You ordered the stuffed sea bass, didn't you?'

Woman finding jack-in-a-box in her saucepan.

'Yech, there's a worm on my plate!' - 'That's a sausage, you fool.'

'Nice Touch!'

'Firstly whip your eggs....and everything else.'

Pizza Exam: 'Just deliver it around the back of 'B' block. The money will be by the window. . .'

"Don't be alarmed, Lois, but there appears to be a pop-up thermometer protruding from your right buttock."

'Break's over, 'No-Lips!' I got a rush order for one chicken-fried steak!'

Peanut Butter and Jam Attack,