Poultry Punsters Pillows

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

"Lose those fantasies of exacting vengeance from the afterlife. Our best hope is a mild case of salmonella."

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"I had a dream that my bones were being picked clean!..."

"Ticklish?"

"I'd like to talk about the existence of deviled eggs among the lay-ity."

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.

Dog Walker

Pet Cemetery.

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

"Hallelujah!"

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

"Half a dozen brown—three large, three jumbo!"

A dog reads a newspaper

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

'Don't worry, I would never tell the other free range chickens you're agoraphobic.'

Polly Clinic.

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

Licker Store

Various Birds of Pray.

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'It might be a satanic cult: Not only did they chop his head off, they're stuffing his body with bread now...'

'That's Princess... formerly 'Prince'.'

"Don't be alarmed, Lois, but there appears to be a pop-up thermometer protruding from your right buttock."

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

"Seats in all parts!"

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

'You may want to consider diversifying your portfolio.'