Poultry Punsters Pillows

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

"Lose those fantasies of exacting vengeance from the afterlife. Our best hope is a mild case of salmonella."

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"I had a dream that my bones were being picked clean!..."

"Ticklish?"

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.

Dog Walker

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Hallelujah!"

"Half a dozen brown—three large, three jumbo!"

A dog reads a newspaper

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

Various Birds of Pray.

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

Polly Clinic.

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

'That's Princess... formerly 'Prince'.'

'It might be a satanic cult: Not only did they chop his head off, they're stuffing his body with bread now...'

"Seats in all parts!"

"Don't be alarmed, Lois, but there appears to be a pop-up thermometer protruding from your right buttock."

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

'You may want to consider diversifying your portfolio.'

Crowing Rehearsals

'That's weird, do you smell barbecue sauce, Sarah'

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"

"So how often do you have these dreams about the axe?"