Poultry Punter Pillows

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

A Semicolon.

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Half a dozen brown—three large, three jumbo!"

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

Polly Clinic.

Various Birds of Pray.

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

"Bretheren and Sistern out there in Congregational Land!"

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

His Other Shtick

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"

"So how often do you have these dreams about the axe?"

"Our scientists may have discovered that we once had extra body parts."

"What a traitor! It is supposed to be a well-guarded secret covered by a non-disclosure agreement..."

"Why are you giving them whiskey?"

Headless Chicken picking out chief in a line up

Chick escapes from egg prison.

'He specializes in chicken dishes.'

'Do you think it takes 10p?'