Puppy Punter Pillows

'Look, I don't know what repulsive smelly thing I just ate, but I know what I like.'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Dog Walker

Litterary Dogs.

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

A dog reads a newspaper

'Hopefully this will not have a negative impact on my dinner.'

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

"Not too much off my back."

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'Nice try, Billy, but dogma is not a puppy's mother!'

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

'That's Princess... formerly 'Prince'.'

His Other Shtick

Saloon Selectives

'Play dead.'

'Do you think it takes 10p?'

"Jack Russell?"

". . . But, according to your cat, you had a fur ball contract."

"He's a shiitake."

Dolphin at bar - 'I'm in disguise'

"Find another place to dump that crap. This stall is occupied."

"So the vet says, 'If this is my thermometer, then where's my pen?' . . . Get it!? . . . IS this thing on!?"

"Do you think there might be a bitcoin in it?"

"Duffer, Penny, Bailey & Coco. Attorneys at Gnaw."

Blue-nosed pointer: 'Naughty, naughty!'

-You seem certain he'll win the second race! -Yes, because he's in the FIRST race!

In medical terms, it's known as cat's got your tongue.