Pet Punters Pillows

"I brought my wife a mink for her birthday, but she refuses to clean out its cage."

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Dog Walker

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

'No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?'

A dog reads a newspaper

'He's not big enough to use the toilet yet.'

Jerry had a difficult time coming up with cartoon ideas over the noise his dogs made. '...so then the cat says, 'No, thanks. I'll clean it myself.' 'Ha,ha! Yeah, that's a good one,Phil!'

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

"Not too much off my back."

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

'That's Princess... formerly 'Prince'.'

'They're for a friend.'

Saloon Selectives

Looking for a cool cat.

". . . But, according to your cat, you had a fur ball contract."

"Jack Russell?"

"He's a shiitake."

"Find another place to dump that crap. This stall is occupied."

"Must dash - I'm appearing in a 'restaurant soup' cartoon this afternoon..."

'Do you think it takes 10p?'

'If provoked - his remarks can be scathing.'

'Not all my kids went to the dogs...some of them went to the cats.'

Dolphin at bar - 'I'm in disguise'

"Remember the good ol' days when the house was earning more than the two of us?"

"You got off easy. They put me under house arrest."

'He kept saying that, 'my bark was worse than my bite', so I bit him!'

'Look, I don't know what repulsive smelly thing I just ate, but I know what I like.'

-You seem certain he'll win the second race! -Yes, because he's in the FIRST race!

In medical terms, it's known as cat's got your tongue.