Journey To Better Health Gifts

Overeaters anonymous meeting 9 to 10pm

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Be Healthy

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

Dieting Motivation.

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Men's Health Screenings.

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

Attack of the 'health' foods

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

Scales

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"I’d like to return my Fitbit—It won’t stop calling me a lazy piece of sh*t."

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you'll be in as good a shape as you've never been."

"Until we get more employees to join, we'll just have to roll with the paunches."

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in school.'

'Nevermore.'

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

'I want you to slow down, and that includes fast food.'

"Is it working?"

Exercising in Confinement