Health Journey Enthusiast Gifts

"Surgery is scheduled six weeks from today. Don't eat anything before then."

'I have to lose some weight...Every time I want to rest on my laurels I find I need wider laurels.'

Diet dishes.

'It's you weight loss chart, which way would you like it?'

'It's a simple, foolproof diet plan -- I want you to take a knockout drop with a glass of water before every meal.'

Dieting Motivation.

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'

'YOU again?'

'Gee! Your diet's beginning to work!'

Weight Loss Clinic: "Would you like to see some before and after shots?"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

'Your reflexes are still good!'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'