Healthcare Journey Enthusiast Gifts

"Your last 120 visits haven't been a complete waste of time, at least we've discovered why you're exhausted!"

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

Coronavirus Global Alert

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Healthy Patients Only

Dieting Motivation.

Get well soon!

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."