Healthcare Enthusiast Gifts

"Well, yes, it's a routine procedure - if you routinely have someone slice open your body with sharp instruments and then fiddle with your insides."

Electronic records will prolong consultations...

'You're not listening to what you're hearing.'

"I remember when you could see these all over the place..." "Can we go and see the nurse now?"

'When I asked if she was critical I didn't mean verbally!'

'An ounce of prevention was worth a pound of cure, but that was before Medicare.'

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

"Let's play health care!"

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"And finally doctor, can you think of any areas where spending could be cut without damaging patiet care?"

'It's a new miracle drug. It'll be a miracle if you can afford it.'

Surgeon enters 'Intensive Care Wing', Priest enters 'Wing and a Prayer'

Doctor on call - "Oh and while you're here can you take a look at the cat?"

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

'He's our new Geriatric specialist!'

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

"Doctors Without Borders:" Good Idea! "Doctors without boundaries:" NOT a good idea!

"He may be unorthodox but he's a brilliant hemorrhoids man."

"If you don't mind, I'm trying a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

line of life

Surgeons high-five spectators as they enter emergency room.

'All our doctors have quit practice, but you can see an attorney.'

"Are you sure you don't want to go private?"

'Now for your treatment Mr Grobley, you have a choice . . . . .'

'He's a very good doctor, and I trust him, but I must confess that I always double check his diagnosis on Google.'

'We don't know what you have or how to cure it - all we can do is bill you.'

"I heard you were short on beds, so I brought my own!"

'Dr Krantz referred you to me? I was going to refer you to Dr Kranz.'

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"Ashley wanted to play doctor, but I'm trying to stay out of the health care debate."

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

'Oops! They have used inches instead of centimetres.'