Healthcare Adventurers Gifts

Kid in hospital has I.V. in him that is a straw.

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

Get well soon!

Healthy Patients Only

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"You call all this a side effect?"

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

Scales

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

Drug vending machines at hospital.

Eye, ear, nose, throat & real estate investment trusts.

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

'What's this? You're suing me because the prescribed medication made you 'irrationally exuberant' in a down market?'

'Doc, my stiches are coming out,'

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?