Adventure In Healthcare Gifts

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

Healthy Patients Only

Get well soon!

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

Scales

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

"You call all this a side effect?"

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Kid in hospital has I.V. in him that is a straw.

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

Drug vending machines at hospital.

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

Eye, ear, nose, throat & real estate investment trusts.

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

"I'll bet he takes other dangerous drugs too! See if we can catch him with an aspirin!"

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

'What's this? You're suing me because the prescribed medication made you 'irrationally exuberant' in a down market?'

'Doc, my stiches are coming out,'

"Well the good news is that everything was supposed to be bad for you is actually good, but the bad news is that everything that you thought was good for you is actually bad."

Exploring Healthcare Careers

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'