Healthcare Journey Gifts

"Good news! It's only cancer."

Selfie with death

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Dieting Motivation.

Men's Health Screenings.

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

Attack of the 'health' foods

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

"I’d like to return my Fitbit—It won’t stop calling me a lazy piece of sh*t."

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in school.'

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

Exploring Healthcare Careers

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

'To show support for Daddy's low cholesterol diet, we'll all be eating porridge for breakfast.'

'What we have here is a hostage situation - There's a thin person inside you screaming to get out.'

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."