Health Journey Gifts

Overweight man groaning at the fact he can't see the dial on his scales, due to his gut.

'Popcorn, carrot cake, and potato chips do not count as three servings of vegetables.'

"Does it come in menthol?"

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'I want you to slow down, and that includes fast food.'

"Wine and women are off but can sing as much as you like!"

'I don't care what anyone says! This is really hard work!'

'I want you to slow down, and that includes fast food.'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'Are you over 18 stone?'

I only weigh 95 kilograms...That's 210...in pounds!

Attack of the 'health' foods

Exercising in Confinement

It was time to start the lockdown diet.

"I tried change, it didn't work."

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

Man covered in patches - "That's the worst smoking habit I've ever seen."

"I’d like to return my Fitbit—It won’t stop calling me a lazy piece of sh*t."

'What we have here is a hostage situation - There's a thin person inside you screaming to get out.'

'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in school.'

'I want you to slow down, and that includes fast food.'

'If you want to be ship-shape, you'll have to spend some time in dry dock.'

'You're getting too comfortable. Cut out the comfort foods.'

'I'm taking you off three things - breakfast, lunch, and dinner.'

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

When I said to take a little regular exercise I didn't mean coming to see me every day.

'You have to take an oath that you'll change your lifestyle.'

'I'm going to start you off with a simple diet -- don't eat anything you can't pronounce.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Be Healthy

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'