Healthcare Journey Enthusiast Pillows

"Your last 120 visits haven't been a complete waste of time, at least we've discovered why you're exhausted!"

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

Coronavirus Global Alert

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Dieting Motivation.

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

Get well soon!

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

Healthy Patients Only

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."