Health Journey Seeker Pillows

Are you on a diet plan? I'm on several of them!

Weight Watchers: StOUT and thIN Desk Organizers

"Help, I can't read my weight!"

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Exercise Bars

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

Dieting Motivation.

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"I’d like to return my Fitbit—It won’t stop calling me a lazy piece of sh*t."

Attack of the 'health' foods

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

Scales

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'