Health Journey Seeker Pillows

"Help, I can't read my weight!"

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Exercise Bars

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

Dieting Motivation.

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

Attack of the 'health' foods

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

"I’d like to return my Fitbit—It won’t stop calling me a lazy piece of sh*t."

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

Scales

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

"Go out and play. You can't just sit there watching wall all day."

'I'm going to suggest increasing your level of activity.'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.