Health Journey Ponderer Pillows

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

Dieting Motivation.

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

Scales

"I’d like to return my Fitbit—It won’t stop calling me a lazy piece of sh*t."

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

Attack of the 'health' foods

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

"Until we get more employees to join, we'll just have to roll with the paunches."

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in school.'

"We just made a big cancer breakthrough. Have a cigar."

'What we have here is a hostage situation - There's a thin person inside you screaming to get out.'

Confined by Coronavirus

Woman and scales.