Health Journey Adventurer Gifts

'When you put on a new nicotene patch you're supposed to take the old ones off!'

'I'm afraid that the thin person inside you screaming to get out is in immanent danger of digeston.'

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

Scales

"Is it working?"

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

Dieting Motivation.

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

"I’d like to return my Fitbit—It won’t stop calling me a lazy piece of sh*t."

Attack of the 'health' foods

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Kid in hospital has I.V. in him that is a straw.

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

Exploring Healthcare Careers

'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in school.'

Lactose intolerance.

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'