Beginning A New Health Journey Gifts

'Nevermore.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Be Healthy

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

Dieting Motivation.

Men's Health Screenings.

Attack of the 'health' foods

"I’d like to return my Fitbit—It won’t stop calling me a lazy piece of sh*t."

Set sail

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

"Keep goin', Harry. No pain, no gain!"

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

"If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you'll be in as good a shape as you've never been."

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

"Until we get more employees to join, we'll just have to roll with the paunches."

'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in school.'

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

'Which program would you like - the use it or lose it, or use it to lose it?'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

'What we have here is a hostage situation - There's a thin person inside you screaming to get out.'

'I want you to slow down, and that includes fast food.'

"Since you're a computer geek, I suggest lifting the box the weights came in."

Our Life Coaches: New Beginnings Retreat Center

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

'Never mind another doctor -- I'm referring you to the Bureau of Weights and Measures.'