Starting A Wellness Journey Gifts

"Enrol now, meditation course."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

On the back of the t-shirt...

Be Healthy

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'What'll it cost me to got in shape for yardwork season?'

Exercise now!

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

Exercise Bars

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

Jogging...

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

Man to woman leaving health club: 'The instructor said I had lots of body definition ... plump, rotund, obese, heavy ...'

Dieting Motivation.

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

Gym. You lost a pound this week? It's only because I always leave here too tired to go looking for it!

"When I suggested you should walk a couple of miles a day I didn't mean to just see me!"

Man on beach realizes laying down flattens his stomach

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

Guy in gym

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

'My cellulite is getting stronger.'

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."