Journey To Better Health Pillows

Overeaters anonymous meeting 9 to 10pm

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Be Healthy

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Dieting Motivation.

Men's Health Screenings.

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

Scales

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

Attack of the 'health' foods

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"I’d like to return my Fitbit—It won’t stop calling me a lazy piece of sh*t."

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

"If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you'll be in as good a shape as you've never been."

'Nevermore.'

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

"Until we get more employees to join, we'll just have to roll with the paunches."

'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in school.'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

"Is it working?"

Exercising in Confinement

'I want you to slow down, and that includes fast food.'