Starting A Health Journey Pillows

'Your last annual check up was eleven years ago.'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

"If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you'll be in as good a shape as you've never been."

Healthy Ultimatum

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

Be Healthy

"OK...starting tomorrow, I start photographing smaller portions of food."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Dieting Motivation.

Men's Health Screenings.

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

Attack of the 'health' foods

Scales

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

"I’d like to return my Fitbit—It won’t stop calling me a lazy piece of sh*t."

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

"Until we get more employees to join, we'll just have to roll with the paunches."

'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in school.'

'Nevermore.'

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

'To show support for Daddy's low cholesterol diet, we'll all be eating porridge for breakfast.'

Exercising in Confinement