Joke Recipes Pillows

Gerbil nuggets!

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"States of tofu"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Bangers and Mash

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"My guess it's guacamole."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

Deliboys

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

Sisyphus Sawyer

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

'YAY! PATE!'

Stay at home food pyramid

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

Preserved

"That's just great! Enough with the public displays of affection!"

'I made your favorite -- dinosaurkraut!'

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

"That's a toaster. It's a tanning bed for bread."

"Hallelujah!"

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.