Collecting Food Jokes Pillows

"That's more than enough bacon."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"States of tofu"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Bangers and Mash

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"My guess it's guacamole."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Deliboys

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

Sisyphus Sawyer

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

"And your baskets include dead crickets, old socks, mice guts and toilet water."

'YAY! PATE!'

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

Preserved

"That's just great! Enough with the public displays of affection!"

'I made your favorite -- dinosaurkraut!'

"That's a toaster. It's a tanning bed for bread."

"Hallelujah!"

Stay at home food pyramid

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

"You confused the Sudso box with the Cruncho box."