Collecting Food Jokes Pillows

"That's more than enough bacon."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"States of tofu"

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Bangers and Mash

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Deliboys

"My guess it's guacamole."

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

Sisyphus Sawyer

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

'YAY! PATE!'

"And your baskets include dead crickets, old socks, mice guts and toilet water."

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

Preserved

"That's just great! Enough with the public displays of affection!"

"That's a toaster. It's a tanning bed for bread."

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

"Hallelujah!"

Stay at home food pyramid

'I made your favorite -- dinosaurkraut!'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'