Culinary Joke Collectors Pillows

'Remember...over there we're snails, not escargot.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

Mexican Jumping Balls.

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

'The pills stopped your depression but we may need to adjust the dosage, Sister Naomi.'

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"I've got a painful burning sensation in my groin, doc."

Chameleon humor...'I never metamorphosis I didn't like...'

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'YAY! PATE!'

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

"Champagne always makes her light-headed."

'I would suggest a Cabernet Sauvignon. It's non habit forming. I should know. I've been drinking a glass every day for twenty years.'

Chicken Road Crossing

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

'Oh Hank, you say that now but once you have one it'll change your life.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'

'Never say 'let's dye a hundred eggs'. You'll be eating your words for weeks.'

Damaged goods & lawyer's torts 50 off.

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

"Well, that's not a good sign."

'It's actually cheaper than the bait shop.'

"The Blueberry Bagel, having triumphed on the East Coast, heads West."

Apple says to banana: 'Look, it's had to explain ??" you're just a naturally funny guy, OK?'

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'