Dining Joke Collector Pillows

"You know what would compliment this meal? A nice vintage milk of magnesia"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Mexican Jumping Balls.

Don't go out in the rain without an umbrella....was probably not 'his idea' of a tip, dear!'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

'The pills stopped your depression but we may need to adjust the dosage, Sister Naomi.'

"I've got a painful burning sensation in my groin, doc."

Chameleon humor...'I never metamorphosis I didn't like...'

'YAY! PATE!'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'I would suggest a Cabernet Sauvignon. It's non habit forming. I should know. I've been drinking a glass every day for twenty years.'

"Champagne always makes her light-headed."

'Waiter! There's no hair in my soup!'

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

"Well, that's not a good sign."

Human Fingers: The Fish World's version of Fish Fingers.

The Federal Witless Protection Program in action.

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

Apple says to banana: 'Look, it's had to explain ??" you're just a naturally funny guy, OK?'

"Carpenter ants."

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

"Trust me - you'll lure more children with gingerbread than with fruitcake."

"It's from my Swiss account."

'What's the special?'

'Look, I'm only gonna say this once... Look, I'm only gonna say this once... Look, I'm only...'

Butterfly

"Sorry, it’s my first day."

One of their favourite games was to pull the wool over their eyes.

"That's more than enough bacon."