Culinary Joke Lover Pillows

"As a professional I would find it unethical to prescribe you chicken noodle soup."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Bangers and Mash

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

Better Not Squash.

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Carpe pizza"

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

'YAY! PATE!'

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

Pizza with 'Made in China' imprinted on it.

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

'Todays special - egg on Ronay'

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

'Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.'

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

"1 pinch of salt, 3 pinches of baking soda...oh dear, a cup of flour? How many pinches is that?"

'It's the same as our regular Angels hair pasta, but with extra grease.'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"Ooops...well, at least you now can see that there are a lot of fresh mushrooms in our soup!"

"Rare, medium or well done?"