Culinary Joke Lover Gifts

"As a professional I would find it unethical to prescribe you chicken noodle soup."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Bangers and Mash

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Better Not Squash.

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Carpe pizza"

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

'YAY! PATE!'

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

Pizza with 'Made in China' imprinted on it.

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

Deviled HamDeviled Eggs.

'Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.'

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

'Todays special - egg on Ronay'

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

"Your father dressed you, didn't he?"

'It's the same as our regular Angels hair pasta, but with extra grease.'

"Ooops...well, at least you now can see that there are a lot of fresh mushrooms in our soup!"

"1 pinch of salt, 3 pinches of baking soda...oh dear, a cup of flour? How many pinches is that?"

'We need more cake shows!'