Culinary Humor Fan Gifts

The Cheese God

'Sorry to keep asking, but are you sure you prepared mine separately?'

"Hate to break it to you, buddy, but I'm your better in every way - spicier, zestier, more fun, and Latino."

'I think perhaps he wants us to go.'

RADA canteen, "Lead roll, support rolls"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

Filet minion

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'The Burrito King.'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

"What happened to the thin crust guy I married?"

Where Deviled Eggs come from

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

Better Not Squash.

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

A Pirate Egg Prisoner about to Walk the Plank into a boiling pot of water