Culinary Humor Fan Pillows

The Cheese God

'Sorry to keep asking, but are you sure you prepared mine separately?'

"Hate to break it to you, buddy, but I'm your better in every way - spicier, zestier, more fun, and Latino."

'I think perhaps he wants us to go.'

RADA canteen, "Lead roll, support rolls"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Filet minion

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'The Burrito King.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

"What happened to the thin crust guy I married?"

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

Where Deviled Eggs come from

Better Not Squash.

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

A Pirate Egg Prisoner about to Walk the Plank into a boiling pot of water

"Carpe pizza"