Comedy Culinary Fan Pillows

Road Kill Cafe.

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Filet minion

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

'We need more cake shows!'

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

"Ooops...well, at least you now can see that there are a lot of fresh mushrooms in our soup!"

Not that one. It's got the chips in it.

"1 pinch of salt, 3 pinches of baking soda...oh dear, a cup of flour? How many pinches is that?"

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

Cafe offers corn several ways.