Culinary Joke Collectors T-Shirts

'Remember...over there we're snails, not escargot.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

Mexican Jumping Balls.

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

'The pills stopped your depression but we may need to adjust the dosage, Sister Naomi.'

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

Chameleon humor...'I never metamorphosis I didn't like...'

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'YAY! PATE!'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"I've got a painful burning sensation in my groin, doc."

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

'What a gyp! Yesterday, after I got fixed, I put my testicles under my pillow, and all I got was a quarter!'

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

'I would suggest a Cabernet Sauvignon. It's non habit forming. I should know. I've been drinking a glass every day for twenty years.'

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

"Champagne always makes her light-headed."

Chicken Road Crossing

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

'Oh Hank, you say that now but once you have one it'll change your life.'

'Oh, you know, the usual...just working.'

'Never say 'let's dye a hundred eggs'. You'll be eating your words for weeks.'

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

Damaged goods & lawyer's torts 50 off.

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'It's actually cheaper than the bait shop.'

"Well, that's not a good sign."

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

Apple says to banana: 'Look, it's had to explain ??" you're just a naturally funny guy, OK?'