Joke Recipes Prints

Gerbil nuggets!

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"States of tofu"

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

Bangers and Mash

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Deliboys

"My guess it's guacamole."

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

Sisyphus Sawyer

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

'YAY! PATE!'

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

'I made your favorite -- dinosaurkraut!'

"That's just great! Enough with the public displays of affection!"

Stay at home food pyramid

"Hallelujah!"

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

Preserved

"That's a toaster. It's a tanning bed for bread."