Jogging Avoiders Gifts

Too hot to Walkman

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"It's true: no more burpees."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'I want a refund. They only shuffle.'

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

'Ok guys, here comes the first of the day...let the fun begin!'

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

Health

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'Are we having fun yet?'

'You need more excercize. But I'm drinking as fast as I can.'

"I'm exhausted! I've just binge-watched the entire series of 'Fresh Air and Exercise.'"

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

"Cool bonfire app, man."

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

'Your back went out because your front went out.'

'But, dear, I am walking the dog.'

"Let's take it easy for the first two miles."

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

Exclamation Marks chasing the Question Mark.

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

"I do my best thinking in the shower... do I need to run 5 miles a day in order to take one?"

"At least you made it into the hallway."

The Sedentary Dead.