Workout Avoiders Gifts

"Was it something I said?"

"It's true: no more burpees."

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

"Shhh! I'm hiding from Mistress who wants to go on a walk! It's cold and raining outside: no way I'm wearing that stupid coat again!"

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

Gym. Check in Here. The only time I feel the burn is when I pay the memberbship fee.

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

"We need to walk."

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

'If you want to get some exercise, carry this out to the garbage.'

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"I was all set to go to the gym, but you'd be amazed how much, yoga class and pour-a-glass, sound alike."

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

The Candy Shop. Anytime I eat candy it immediately goes to my mid-section. No time to waist!

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

"I'm exhausted! I've just binge-watched the entire series of 'Fresh Air and Exercise.'"

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

'You need more excercize. But I'm drinking as fast as I can.'

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'Your back went out because your front went out.'

'But, dear, I am walking the dog.'

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

"It's your turn to shovel the perch."

What can I get you? Ham sandwich with extra cheese. Double banana split. Side of sugar. Coming up, sir. I am abandoning my New Year's diet! If you're gonna go down, go down in flames. Burn these gym clothes!

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

"...I love the smell of an uncut lawn."

"The doctor told him to exercise more, so he jogs to the pub."

The Sedentary Dead.