Gym Avoiders Gifts

New Years Resolution.

'Inside of me is a skinny person urging me to join a gym. That's when I sedate her with a slice of chocolate pie.'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Powerful Love.

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"It's true: no more burpees."

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Bench Press Accident

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

Exercise now!

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

Keep Fit.

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

After working out in the congressional gym, I feel like a lean, mean, legislating machine.

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."